My Secret Friend

When I was a little girl, I had a secret friend. My secret friend taught me all sorts of fabulous things. My secret friend came to me in the dream world. The dream world was the place “between”; between the spirit world and the physical world I was supposed to live in. The dream world was to me real or more real, than this world. If I had a problem or didn’t understand something from the day world, I just had to lie down and close my eyes and night would guide me. I would pick a star, a star that was hidden behind my eyelids and light would grow and I would find the help I needed.

An after noon nap became a time to dream and visit the stars and float away. To me this was a normal part of life.

If I try to describe my secret friend, I have some trouble. Words are flat and my friend was multi-dimensional. Just like words given notes, when sung, begin to grow and float in numerous ways. Trying to describe my secret friend, much like the descriptions of other great beings, lose their fullness and power, unless experienced.

He, my special friend and I knew it was a He, came to me in different ways. Sometimes as a voice and guide, something deep inside, other times he took form, and came dressed up like a boy, or sometimes as a father figure; an old man and sometimes like a sea spider or an octopus. Later he and I became whatever was needed in the dream, in the moment. I really never gave much thought to his form until I was an adult.

I can remember the day my secret friend told me he was going to leave me alone as I had learned enough to find my way alone. I was terrified and I remember pleading that I was afraid to be on my own. We had had so many adventures and I knew that I would miss him dearly. The fateful day came and on that last visit he came as the giant sea spider, which explains my great love of spiders and for the stories of the time of long ago when we knew the gods in other forms.
I was told that day, to listen to the Holy Voice and to my inner choice and remember. Remember what, I did not know.

This morning as I was reflecting, I recalled a vivid dream. Before going on I should explain, as a young girl I knew that in the dream world I could go wherever I wanted. I had no boundaries, there was nothing I could not, do. I could travel, fly, leap and bound, sleep and rest, play and jest, and I had special places that I could visit and if I wanted I could play in a dream and rerun it later or change the scene to make things better. The dream world was my domain. Though sometimes there were dreams that came as instruction and those were given to me for meditation and reflection. I knew that dreams were of different kinds. That some were so special that they were to be hidden way deep inside of me, like special treasure. That someday I might be able to share, and I would know when. Then there were the beauty ones, the ones that were of such dimension, colours so bright you thought you could taste them too, with sound and silence, profound in depth, that were never forgotten, held in the soul as visions for life. So many understandings of dreams I knew. Some dreams you could share with others, like the day dreams and the desires. Sometimes people talk through dreams sharing in sleep and traveling together. Some dreams heal and others are like a gathering of mail. Some dreams warn and others frighten, but for the most part, my childhood dreams were filled with adventure.
In the vivid dream, I recalled today, I was still the happy little girl that thought children spoke a different language than the adults, until we grew higher than their thighs. When we grew taller we would fully understand THEM (the adults). In the dream however I could understand everyone the same and in this dream I was leading a group of people, adult people with their caravan of tents, food and animals. The adults were looking for a secret and sacred place, a valley they could live in, and a very special mountain. I listened to their description and I knew, I knew the place.

I t was The Sacred Mountain, a favourite place, I knew. I knew where it was and I volunteered to guide them.

After much debate and discussion, they agreed to let me take them there. So we walked for many days along a desolate, dusty landscape. Then one day when they were ready to turn away, I saw the mountain up ahead. It was hidden by the clouds behind some other peaks I knew. So we travelled on, as the caravan people could see the mountains too. Then a funny thing occurred to me. As the sun beat down and tempers rose, I knew these people had bad hearts, heavy thoughts that kept them from really seeing, their reason not what it was supposed to be. I grew a little afraid then, for I didn’t want the special place behind the sacred mountain to be harmed by the people of the caravan. As we approached the Sacred Mountain they became more disagreeable, and impatient. Soon we were standing at the base of the mountain peaks. I stood and pointed to the Sacred Mountain. Then a funny thing happened. They became annoyed with me for pointing to something they could not see.

One man grabbed me roughly and shook me hard as he yelled questions about the sacred place. I looked up and could see the mountain right before us. It slowly dawned on me that they could not see what was right before them. On that I wondered and then my heart lit up with joy, for I knew they would not find it. I knew that I would remember where it was for all my life and that it was safe from them. I left them standing in the dream.

After that as I awoke I heard a voice that told me this was my gift and no one could take it from me. I know that place as real and this one an illusion. I can still see the Mountain and know a few other light hearts have seen it too.

I do not miss my special friend for we were reunited when my heart re-discovered Him, in a new Awakening; when I was washed with a Blissful Blessing and recognised Him in another form, as the Holy Spirit.

That is another story.